to the snow!

We took Mac snowskiing in Argentina last June (southern hemisphere summer for anybody who didn't excel at geography), and he loved it. And he was good at it. He kept asking to go back, so I promised him a year ago that during our year at home, we'd go skiing.

We had a young Marine friend in Mozambique whose motto in life was "go big or go home." So I thought we'd "go big" on the ski trip and head out west to the Rockies.

And then the underwear-explosive bomber struck, airport security went nuts, and Mac and I made our pact not to get on an airplane anytime soon.

As you might imagine, there are zero snowskiing options in South Carolina. You can waterski to your hearts' content, but no dice on the snow. But North Carolina has a few ski resorts - not Rocky Mountain-quality skiing - but you can drive there so it fits the parameters.

I originally thought we'd go next weekend, a holiday weekend, so we could enjoy an extra day. But then my neighbor, who went to college near the ski resorts, said not to go because every church youth group in the tri-state area would be there.

So I thought why not go this weekend? I've checked the weather forecast there all week and they've gotten fresh snow everyday, so I figured (at least fervently hoped for my sake because I hate cold and it's been awfully cold here for the last week) that this might be the best chance of the season for good, fresh snow.

We are going to what is probably the worst of the resorts. But we chose it because it's closest and requires the least amount of secondary road travel (which, for those of us without experience in winter weather driving, is crucial).

The biggest drawback to this resort is that they don't have the same level of children's programs that the Argentine resort had, or even the other NC resorts for that matter. In Argentina, Mac took a couple private lessons but he also entered this children's program for a few hours where they took the kids out on the slopes for group lessons/skiing.

At this NC resort, group lessons start at age 8, so I plan for Mac to take a private lesson - not old enough for group lessons - but then what to do with him after that? They have a "kids club" but they only play in the snow without any skiing. The kid wanted to ski; he's going to ski. So no kids club.

My mom is going with us and as much as I have tried to convince her that taking up skiing would be a great adventure for her and one that she could uniquely share with her grandson, she didn't buy it. So I think this means that I am going to have to ski.

You need to understand that there is no love lost between me and skiing. First of all, it means you have to pay for the privilege of being cold. Have I mentioned that I hate cold? Second of all, you generally get wet, and wet and cold don't go together at all in my book. Third of all, I am just terrified by skiing because of a near-death experience I had on my first ski trip.

I am prone to exaggeration, but in my memory, it was really near death. My first attempt at skiing was in NC on a church youth group retreat. I took lessons and practiced on the bunny slope until I deemed myself professional and ready for a chairlift. The problem as I recall from a couple times of skiing in NC is that the snow isn't really good-quality snow. It's this icy, granular nonsense. No powder in sight. So up I went on the chairlift and when it came time to jump off, I jumped off and started sliding on my skis on icy snow. I was out of control and only was stopped when I fell over into a fence that blocked off some trees from what is really the ski trail.

I managed to get down the mountain, mostly on my backside, and turned my skis in. I think I went back for another youth group retreat or two and never had any more fun in the snow than that first trip. I also skiied in Australia - yes, they have snow there - and again, got overconfident in my abilities and ended up on what seemed like a nearly vertical-drop mountain. D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R!

When we went to Argentina, Jimmy planned to ski and did ski a little, but the snow was awful. It was early in the season and they hadn't gotten good snow yet. Very icy, miserable snow. I went on that trip with no intention of skiing and did not, in fact, ski.

Now we've got a father who likes to ski in Afghanistan; a child who likes to ski going on a ski trip with his mother; a mother who hates, detests, abhors skiing taking her child to ski; a grandmother who says she's not taking up skiing at her age; and a kids club that doesn't allow the kids to ski. You do the math. Somebody's got to take the boy up skiing.

There's no way I can address the sheer fear I have of skiing except by doing it (or maybe by medicinal assistance but it's too late to get a prescription for tranquilizers). But I can work on being cold and wet.

You might wonder why we got so cold and wet when we went on youth retreats. Well, it's because we Scotchguarded our jeans. How LAME is that? Only a couple people's parents went out and bought them ski clothes. The rest of us invested in a can of Scotchguard and sprayed those jeans to within an inch of their lives.

Allow me to tell you that Scotchguarding your jeans doesn't really ward off the wet, and it certainly doesn't help with the cold.

So to my friend Donald: you'll be pleased to know that I bought a pair of ski pants for Mac and me (I bought two pairs; we're not going to share one pair). That's right. There's no more Scotchguarding in my future! We've got the bonafide goods here. I have no ski jacket because those aren't on sale yet and while I'll shell out $25 for a pair of ski pants (what a sale!), I will not pay $100+ for a ski jacket for one day of skiing.

We're off to NC this afternoon when school gets out. If you think of us tomorrow, say a big prayer. We'll be skiing at some point and partaking of this cool snow tubing adventure they have as well. Even my mom - who bought ski pants too! - is going to do that. On second thought, say as many prayers as you can!