The florist who taught the class used this razor blade like it was a paintbrush. She could cut off flower stems effortlessly. I, however, could not. I definitely do not have the decades of experience that she obviously has wielding this tool.
Everybody in the class also had more proficiency than I did. They could cut away from themselves or toward themselves with zero effort and great results.
Well today I had my big trip to the huge flower market here in the city. I bought more flowers than you can possibly imagine for about $25 and will be able to fill vases all over the house for tomorrow night's big soiree.
Even though I don't intend to arrange the flowers until tomorrow, I decided to cut an inch off each stem and put in buckets of water just like the florist instructed last week.
Enter the weapon of mass destruction:
I was whipping along pretty well with the old retractable razor blade when I decided to try and cut towards myself instead of away.
Two words:
BIG. MISTAKE.
I promptly slashed the pad of my thumb. In that second before the blood started flowing, I thought it didn't look too bad.
But then the blood came and the gash opened and the skin flapped around and I knew I'd done a number.
I haven't had stitches since I was 6, so I wasn't really sure if this required stitches.
I called my friend who lives a block away for advice on such matters but she was almost at her Spanish class and couldn't come over to look. She did say that if I was having to wonder whether I needed stitches, I probably did. She also told me the embassy's health unit could give stitches, so I called the health unit and explained that I wasn't sure if I needed stitches or not but that I knew I needed somebody to look at it and should I come to them or to the ER.
They told me to come in so once I stuck the rest of the flowers in water (with nary a stem cut), I called a taxi who sped me to the embassy so fast it made my head spin. I may consistently employ a blood- (or red food coloring-) soaked paper towel wrapped around a body part to get the most direct route and fastest taxi trip in the future.
So I got there, the doctor unwrapped the paper towel that was now stuck to the cut and declared that yes, I did, in fact, need stitches. After three shots of anesthetic in my thumb, a good soak and subsequent scrub in Betadine and saline (my hands were dirty from carrying and touching and cutting plants all morning), the PA took off his cufflinks, rolled up his sleeves and sewed my U-shaped cut with 7 stitches. I never felt a thing.
The anesthetic is wearing off now and when I went to use the bathroom a little while ago, the end of the belt whipped back and hit my thumb, so I'm feeling it now. The good news is that Jimmy has made it back to Bogota despite the tropical storm that rolled through southern Florida this morning and I know I'll have help at home tonight.
P.S. The retractable razor blade has been disposed of and I will return to using scissors to cut the stems. That technique has worked well for me for the last decade or so and there's really no need to change what works.
P.P.S. I took photos with my cheap cell phone at various stages so I could share the trauma with you. If I can ever figure out how to get them off the phone, I will share.
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