When you think of four-letter bad words, you may have your idea of what the worst one is that you could hear your child say.
But I'm here to tell you what the very worst one is to a mother's ears:
C-A-M-P
I'm not talking day camp, my friends. I'm talking about full-fledged spend-the-night(away from your mother) camp.
Don't get me wrong - I've never had a problem with sleepovers. Mac has spent the night with friends and with family, but that's a contained, controlled environment where generally the adults in charge are not outnumbered so severely by the children in the house that they could, say, lose a child in the woods.
But full-fledged spend-the-night (away from your mother) camp? That's a whole different ballgame.
So when I got a notice from Mac's school last fall about this overnight camping deal, I was a little nervous. Okay, a lot nervous. Really more like neurotic, crazy lady, are-you-kidding-me nervous.
For the record, the camp for this age is one night and is located 45 miles away from Bogota. We are not talking China.
I went to the informational meeting for Mac's grade where I was the only American mother in attendance. The rest of the moms were uber-laidback Latina moms who just don't stress about these things because they inherently know that it's all going to be okay.
The school uses a camping company which arranges all the details of the outing. They're members of the US camping associations, they train their counselors well, and most importantly, they belong to an international search and rescue organization so the group always has a GPS with them which will be emergency-activated if, for instance, they get lost in the woods and need some group out of Colorado to come find them.
As you might imagine, I was the only person who asked questions of the camp representative. I am sure I was labeled by the guy as "Crazy Mom" and have a black mark next to my name in their records.
The camp rep said to the audience as he was looking directly and pointedly and only at me, "it's important for mothers to be able to let their children do age-appropriate things on their own and it's important for children to develop the confidence to do these things on their own." And supposedly this camp is going to do just that for both of us.
Yeah, whatever.
"Do you need a chaperone to go on the trip?" was what I wanted to ask.
The end result of the meeting for me was that I was impressed by the company and decided that I could not project my angst onto Mac. So I have been a font of camp encouragement since November. I've bought all the supplies, got him some new pants, I wrote his name in his clothes, I figured out how to pack it all in a little backpack, etc, all the while talking about how much fun camp was going to be, how he was going to be with all his friends, how I wish I could go because he was going to have all the fun, etc.
Last week, I filled out the very detailed form for the camp company about contact information, blood type, health insurance, medicines, etc. Of course, the most neurotic mother on the planet doesn't know her child's blood type - how does that happen? - so we had to get that tested last weekend. But I did write a medical school-worthy dissertation on his medicines. Remember he was on his sinus infection medicinal cocktail at the time? I should have just waited to fill out the form until that was done because boy, did I waste a lot of energy on that part. And that was before I got to the part about allergies. I'm pretty sure they're not going to feed him pistachios or almonds on the camp trip, but I needed to make sure I covered the potential gastric reaction he might have should they go fancy and serve him pistachios instead of hot dogs. He's never even had a respiratory reaction to a nut, but I needed to go into detail about how I was sending the Epi-Pen just in case.
N.E.U.R.O.T.I.C.
Okay, so then the actual packing began. The packing list was very specific and they said not to bring anything that wasn't on the list. I love a good list so that was right up my alley. Except that the list contained things like 2 pants (not jeans), 2 shirts, 2 pairs of socks, BUT NO UNDERWEAR. I'm sorry. Is he supposed to put on clean clothes with dirty underwear. Gross.
Also the packing list very clearly said that if your child takes medicine, you have to hand over the medicine directly to a camp company representative or a school official. Well today - camp departure day - was "No Car Day" in Bogota (an environmental movement) so the school said that everybody had to come to school by bus, which meant that even though I have diplomatic plates on my car and could drive on "No Car Day", I really couldn't.
You know I like to follow rules, but how was I supposed to get the allergy medicines, the inhaler and the never-used Epi-Pen directly in the hands of camp or school rep?
Needless to say I had to send an email to cover underwear and medicines. Here's the exchange:
Dear Zambo Travel,
My son Mac Story is registered for the Colegio Gran Bretana Year 3 trip to Guatavita on this Thursday and Friday. When I filled out his information sheet, I didn't know his blood type. We had it tested on Saturday and it was B+. Could you add this to his records?
Also, Mac is now off of the antibiotics that were listed on his form and is only taking the Claritin and Singulair tablets at night. I know the packing list said that I have to hand over the meds to the Zambo or school official but he will be arriving at the school with his camping backpack in the bus on Thursday morning. As it's No Car Day on the departure day, I can't drive him to school that morning to personally hand over the medicine. Is it okay if I just put the medicine in his wash kit? Also I will send his asthma inhaler which is only used as necessary.
Finally, on the packing list, a change of underwear isn't listed but I'm assuming we should send a pair???
I promptly got this response from the in-charge woman who probably had reviewed the files and knew that I was the "Crazy Mom" with the black mark by her name. (English is obviously not her first language but I was so grateful that she communicated in English.)
Do not worry about the blood group I will add to his medical record
Send me the medicines in his bag and write me a sheet how I have handled the medicines.
Do not worry, be aware of him
About the underwear send a pair, that’s fine.
If you need something else please let me now
So in an effort to be thankful and self-effacing, I sent this reply:
Thanks so much!! I know I'm the neurotic American mother, but this is his first overnight trip (other than sleepovers at friends and family) and I'm a little paranoid!! I know he'll have a wonderful time!
The subliminal message to this woman was "you better take care of my child because if he is traumatized from this trip or if he eats pistachios and you have to use the Epi-Pen that might have passed its expiration date, I will never forgive you."
She obviously recognized the limitless boundaries of my craziness because her response was:
Don’t worry, I understand.
I take great care
Keep in touch
I'm pretty sure she didn't really mean for me to stay in touch, but felt obligated to say that so the craziness would be quelled.
Suffice it to say that Mac left today for camp and by the pictures that are being posted on the camp company's website (courtesy of the nice lady who promised to take good care of him), he looks like he's having a marvelous time. I'm pretty sure I haven't crossed his mind at all since he got on the bus at 6:30 this morning even though I have hit the refresh button on my computer at least 479 times today to check for updated photos and twitter feeds.
Camp, Part 2, will be forthcoming. I'm signing off for now so Jimmy and I can enjoy date night without paying for a babysitter. There is at least one benefit to my least favorite four-letter word.
No comments:
Post a Comment