random musings from England

1. We have all assumed fake British accents that we think sound marvelous. Don't worry that we're offending actual British people. We only use the accents among ourselves. Now we just need to come up with our traveling British names.

2. British people are so much more polite than Americans. Highway signs in America say things like "No Shoulder". British signs say things like "Please take caution if you pull off on the side of the road because we have interfered with your driving abilities and removed the shoulder on this little stretch of road. We are so sorry and truly hope we don't cause you any inconvenience."

3. I know why British people are generally pasty white except for a small oval around their eyes. It is so cold here that you have to be covered up complete with scarf wrapped around your head, thus creating an opening to the elements only around the eyes.

4. I haven't actually done any research to support this, but I think a higher percentage of the British population (as compared to, say, the Hawaiian population) must suffer from rickets because I don't think that little aforementioned oval opening around the eyes is sufficient for Vitamin D absorption from the sun. They do have awfully good and fresh milk here, so maybe they get enough of the vitamin from that.

5. When we arrived at our cottage on Sunday afternoon, it just appeared magical. Except in my dreams, "magical" is more hot than cold and this cottage was cold. Turns out they have the thermostat set on a timer that only comes on TWICE A DAY. We obviously had to remedy that because it's been below freezing more than above, and I would have died, literally. I do not suffer the cold well or quietly. Jimmy assured me we'd just pay a heat surcharge if necessary, which gave me the permission I needed to flip that little thermostat button from "Timer" to "ON". It's so lovely and toasty warm in here now. We have a fire going for ambience and I don't have to wear my coat, hat and gloves in the house nor do I see my breath when I exhale.

6. Now I'm not British, despite my new accent, but I think any self-respecting British cottage should have a tea strainer gadget in the kitchen. Monique and Donald gave us this lovely basket from Fortnum & Mason that had all the fixings for afternoon tea. So I decided to make afternoon tea today and couldn't find a tea strainer thing anywhere. I don't really know how those work anyway but I know I need one for loose tea. So I made the tea in the French press that we've been using for morning coffee and it was excellent. Maybe that's how the modern British people do it?

7. We went to Warwick Castle today that has the most impressive medievel fortress in all of England, along with this fabulous castle. Let me tell you this place was amazing. Parts of this fortress were from the year 900 and something. WHAT? The cottage we're staying in was built in 1710. WHAT? Our cottage was built nearly before the first colonists came to the US. That is so crazy. And it's just one building after another like this. It's one giant history lesson.

8. We visited Stratford-upon-Avon yesterday and toured Shakespeare's birthplace and Anne Hathaway's cottage. Anne, as you'll recall from high school English, was Shakespeare's wife. I believe a trip to England to see these places should be requisite for all students studying Shakespeare because your appreciation level goes way up. I might just take up studying Shakespeare again because I've been so inspired. (Do they still sell Cliff notes?)

9. I learned at Warwick Castle today that Winston Churchill's mother was courted by and later married a man much younger than she. The man's name? Thomas (or James or something) Cornwallis West. As some of you know, my maiden name was West and I do believe this means I'm a direct descendant of Churchill's mother's husband. That means Winston Churchill and I are step-relatives of some sort. In fact, I think this makes me almost royalty, but let's just call it genuine royalty. Jimmy said this makes sense since I grew up near Queenie Road. Now I just need to get people to treat me as such.

More to follow...