allow me to introduce you to my friend, the Brazilian jeitinho

I haven't updated in awhile on the adoption process, but it's moving along full throttle. We have engaged the services of an American adoption agency with offices in Charleston and Flat Rock, NC. I've participated in the introductory "webinar" on the international adoption process, the first check to the agency is in the mail, and our home study is done and has been preliminarily accepted by the adoption agency. So these are all positive steps in the right direction to the adoption of our Ethiopian-born child.

We now have to file Form I-600A, an application of intent to adopt an international orphan, with the Department of Homeland Security's Citizenship and Immigration Services Office. Because we live in Sao Paulo, we have to present ourselves, a pile of documents and the completed form to the US Consulate in Rio de Janeiro (where they handle such things for international adoptions by Americans living in Brazil). I'm up for a trip to Rio as much as the next person, but time is really ticking down for all of us, but particularly for Jimmy, so time is really of the essence. And of course, this is one of those cases where we both have to present ourselves. I can't just do it on my own.

So I have compiled our stack of documents - tax returns, birth certificates, marriage certificate, all our assets, W-2s, photos of current apartment, home study, fingerprints, doctor's notes, etc. You name it, I've got it.

The two things we're lacking are police reports from the Brazilian Federal Police and the Sao Paulo State Secretary of Public Security. Imagine calling the FBI out of the blue and telling them you need a police report from them. You'd be lucky if somebody even wrote down your name. Well imagine that on steroids and you find us in our current predicament with the Brazilian government.

Behold the power of the Brazilian jeitinho. If you're Brazilian and reading this, forgive me for talking about the jeitinho. The Brazilian jeitinho is really the only way to get anything done quickly and efficiently here and as best I can tell, it's really only available to people who are well-connected or who have money. We are not of the latter, but thankfully we have made some contacts during our 3.5 years in Brazil.

Imagine a straight road from point A to point B. That would be the most direct route, but it's impossible to get there because of roadblocks, holes in the road, etc. Imagine now going some crazy back way from A to B - you still get there and it looks way out of the way, but it's a whole lot easier and faster and less headache-inducing than waiting for the roadblocks to clear and for the potholes to be filled. You know the right person who tells you if you go 3 blocks to the right and cut around to the left and go up the hill and come back down by the big tree, you'll avoid all the roadblocks and get straight to point B. That's the jeitinho and it is a beautiful thing if you can take advantage of it.

For the record, I really did attempt to get the police records on my own. I called the Sao Paulo Public Security people first and the conversation went something like this:

Me: I need to get a police record for my husband and me to faciliate an international adoption. We are foreigners here on diplomatic passports so we have no foreigner registration number because diplomats don't get those. I tried to request the police records from your website but we don't have that number so we're not eligible for the internet police report which requires that number.

Lady: That'll be no problem. Just bring both your passports and we can take care of that for you.

Me (with a false sense of optimism): Well that is wonderful news!!! Thank you so much!!!! You are so nice and if I'd caught your name, I would have agreed to name our new child after you, assuming she's a girl, of course!!! When can I make our appointment?

Lady: Appointment (laughing)? Oh, we can't make an appointment. You and your husband (and yes, he has to come with you) just need to come and sit around all day, waiting to be attended to.

Me: We both have to come? And sit all day? Is there a better time of day or better day of week to come when we won't have to wait as long? When would you recommend we come? He's terribly busy and can't really afford to come and sit all day in your un-air-conditioned office.

Lady (laughing hard now): No, SUCKER. You have to come and sit like everybody else and wait and when we get to you, we get to you and you'll be lucky if we don't send you away with a request to come back with more documentation, after which you will come back and wait another full day. (Okay, I might have made up that part, but that's what I imagine she was thinking.)

So that clearly wasn't going to work. I can waste an entire day at the police department, but Jimmy is so busy that he practically has to schedule trips to the bathroom.

Enter the jeitinho.

My former place of employment does a lot of work with both the federal police and the Sao Paulo Secretary of Public Security. So I sent an email yesterday morning to my old office and within minutes, a former colleague called to tell me she'd contacted a guy she knows and he would be in touch to help facilitate the process.

My new best friend Lauro (names have been changed to protect the innocent!) called yesterday to tell me he'd made the right contact and that he'd call me today to confirm the process. I got nervous because he said he'd call around 1pm today to fill me in and the call never came. Never, ever doubt the power of the jeitinho. Lauro called during dinner tonight, apologizing profusely for the delay in calling. "Lauro", I wanted to say, "I am at your mercy. You may call me at 3am if you so desire."

Lauro informed me that Jimmy and I both need to go Friday afternoon at or after 4pm to this office in downtown Sao Paulo with our passports and the letter that says we need the police report. We are to ask for one of two people who are expecting us and they will take care of things from there. We may have to leave a kidney on the way out. I'm not sure. But as long as I get my police report, who needs 2 kidneys anyway?

The federal police report is still in the works. My old office has come up with nothing so far. I've been wracking my brain to figure out who to call and then tonight at dinner, Jimmy casually mentions the guy we hung out with at the Madonna concert, who we've seen at numerous social events and who happens to be some hotshot federal police dude. DUH. Jimmy's job is to call Henrique (name changed to protect the innocent) first thing tomorrow morning to see if he can get the ball rolling. I am more hopeful than ever that we can actually pull this thing off. Our plan is to go to Rio in the next 2 weeks for a quicky fly-in, fly-out trip. We'll fly out early, do our business at the consulate, jump back on the plane and get home before Mac gets out of school.

I don't know how I am going to survive without the jeitinho when we leave Brazil. Has a Moncks Corner jeitinho been invented since I've been away????