An essay Mac wrote at school today

(Before you read this, put yourself in my mindset at the time of my reading this.  Mac and I had just had a major - and I mean MAJOR - battle royale over my not agreeing to buy him a dog this very afternoon).

        Is your mom awesome like mine? Well I know that my mom is! She cooks for me, she plans everything I do to make it more joyful, and best of all she knows everything that my dad and I like. She is also super intelligent, knowing everything that she needs to know; like how long will she need to cook dinner or when George Washington was born. I like my mom very much and I bet you like your mom too. So if your mom is special to you in any way, then you should tell her that.

         My mom is special to me because she knows when I’m sad or mad or bored. Each time when I’m in a mood, she knows exactly which mood I’m in. Another reason that makes her special is that she cooks the most delightful foods! Like last night she made a delicious chicken pot pie, oh, the flavors were so magnificent. The savory flavors of chicken, peas and corn were amazing! She is also one of the most intelligent people I know, I love her her knowledge in science, math (especially math!), and social studies. Yet another reason that makes her special!

          My mom is kind of like a psychic, she knows what my dad and I want for dinner or knows what movie we want to see before we say it. Whenever my dad’s football game starts she knows immediately that she has to watch T.V. in her bedroom. When my dad is cooking dinner and he comes to do something with me, like play football or baseball she cooks the rest of the dinner so that my dad can finish doing the thing he’s doing with me. She also knows the answer to hard math problems when I need some help. It’s the same with science and grammar issues in my passport essays. This is why she is special to me. Because she knows what is going to happen before it actually happens. Just like a psychic.

         You know who my mom is like? My mom is like Albert Einstein. Her big brain is just jam-packed full of intelligence and facts. Whenever I an answer to a question that I have like “What was the death toll of Hurricane Katrina” and she’ll answer. If not she will research it and tell me the answer the next day. She is as smart as Stephen Hawking, one of the smartest people in the world! That is special to me because I can ask her questions from my curiosity.

         That is how awesome my mom really is. She knows how to cook, what I like and what I dislike, and even the answers to ridiculously confusing questions. She is my favorite mother in the galaxy, wait that can’t be right, she’s my favorite mother in the Universe.

Too bad I didn't use my super-psychic powers to know that going into a pet store would lead to a full and complete meltdown worthy of any 3 year-old's best performance.  At least I can console myself with my Stephen Hawking-like intelligence while I watch tv in my bedroom while I ponder being my only child's favorite mother.  Thankfully there weren't any other moms in the running today.