Tomorrow is Mac’s 11th birthday.
Double digits plus one.
I could cry.
I can’t believe I was
given the privilege of raising this boy. He is so cool and funny and smart and clever. He's a good athlete and a good friend, but more importantly, he's a really good person with a large heart. Being his mom is my single greatest accomplishment, and I wish – even on
those days when we don’t agree on anything – that I could slow down the clock
which just goes faster and faster with each passing year.
So on the occasion of his 11th birthday, here are
11 takeaway motherhood lessons/appreciations:
1. Smelly feet are a good thing because it means my boy’s body
is healthy and works as it was intended.
He can run and jump and kick and play enough to produce sweat to make
those feet stink.
2. If it’s not going to matter in a year, it probably isn’t
worth a fight today. My mom has framed
school pictures of her 5 grandchildren displayed prominently on a side table in
her den. My sister and brother’s
children’s photos are always perfect.
Their hair is always combed and parted and their clothes are cute and
ironed and neat. Mac’s school photo is
outdated (my fault, not my mom’s), but he did look so nice a couple years ago in
his British school uniform from Bogota.
Last week was school photo day at his current school. I had visions of how Mac’s new photo would
look on her table, but he came out of his room dressed like a thug. He had on layered t-shirts, using a long-sleeved
one on the bottom that had a huge hole in it.
He completed the ensemble with his beloved hoodie. I went nuts.
His response? “This is my school
picture and I can wear what I want.” I
argued back and it ended up being a huge drawn-out affair over breakfast. For what?
For a nice picture on my mom’s side table? For a picture in a yearbook that nobody’s
going to look at after July? Finally I
stepped back and realized that this is such a short-term event in what I hope
will be a long life that it just doesn’t matter. I can remember what I wore for one class
picture in 13 years of class pictures and that was my senior picture when I
wore the required cap and gown. Mac and
I ended up compromising and he wore a button-down shirt over the t-shirts, but
the shirt wasn’t ironed and I’m sure his hair was a disaster after wearing a
beanie to school. Gigi, plan on keeping
the already outdated photo in that frame unless you want to showcase your
hoodlum grandson.
3. It is so satisfying to see your child succeed after hard
work, not to mention seeing him learn firsthand the value of hard work. The testing and grading at Mac’s current
school is significantly harder than anything he’s ever faced before. Good (or at
least decent) grades came easily (or at least without much effort) to Mac in
the past, but he’s studying harder and smarter than ever before. It’s been a struggle for all of us, but he’s
seeing some better results and he’s learning that a little hard work won’t kill
him.
4. I know we’re soon going to reach an age where his Christmas
list is more methodical and better defined, but Mac still has a
stream-of-consciousness Christmas list, and I love that. He can jump from a GoPro video camera to a
rubber band rainbow loom bracelet maker to a pocketknife in less than 3 seconds
as his brain spins and churns and turns at lightning speed and dips between childhood and adolescence.
5. To see compassion and charity and empathy in a little body
turning into a great human being is such a remarkable gift to a parent.
6. Even though we don’t see our families often enough, Mac has
such a love and appreciation for his family. He’s very grounded in the fact that Moncks
Corner is home for him no matter where this life takes us, and he’s always so
excited to visit and see everyone.
7. For an 11 year-old boy, there’s not much that a little chat
over a cupcake or throwing a ball in the park can’t fix. Why do we adults make it so much harder?
8. Having a child continually forces me out of my comfort
zone. Mac’s not (often) worried (yet)
about embarrassing himself so he just puts himself out there. As a parent, I want to protect him from doing
something that I think poses a risk of failure or embarrassment, but he could
care not one bit. I know that’ll likely
change once he discovers girls or realizes he can possibly fail at something, but I love to see how uninhibited he still is.
9. Mac is old enough to make me turn around a block before school
so he can walk in by himself, mature enough to realize that this practice is silly but necessary for him, and young enough to still let me kiss
or hold his hand when there’s no chance anyone he knows will see us. It’s a delicate balance!
10. I am now catching glimpses of life PH (Post Hormones). The last year or two have been fraught with crying
for no real reason and lots of hysteria and screaming. It’s honestly been like having a prepubescent
girl in the house. Only in the last couple weeks have I seen evidence of what
life will look like on the other side of this.
Mac has calmed himself in what would have been red-hot situations
before, and he’s presented viable solutions. I
think we’re going to survive this period.
Over and over again, I’m reminded as a parent that there are ebbs and flows in phases. All you have to do is outlast the bad phases and the good stuff comes back along.
11. The love that a mom has for her child is unlike any
other. I remember my grandmother telling me many, many years ago that she loved my grandfather, but that she’d lay down
her life for her children. I get that
fierce love now.
Happy Birthday Mac! YOU ROCK! I hope this year brings you every blessing you deserve.
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