Monday, August 25, 2008

Confusion Reigns Supreme...

First discouraging email came in early this morning from a Consulate colleague that said Sao Paulo is not doing any adoptions to the US. We knew this already, but I really didn't need to see it in black and white first thing on a Monday morning.

I sent the lawyer in Rio an email to ask for an update soon after and only just heard back from her. She's checking with a colleague in Rio to see if we can still register in Sao Paulo (even if adoption won't happen there) and she's to get back with me on this. In the meantime, she's given me a list of what seems like a million things to start working on immediately.

I haven't spoken to the birth mother today, but I did talk to her cousin and they all believe the baby will be born before September 20. The birth mother obviously has experience in delivering babies and she believes she's closer to delivery than her estimated due date.

I am overwhelmed with how this can possibly even happen or if we even stand a chance. There's obviously no way we can be given legal guardianship before September 20, so even if we were able to bring the baby home, we would simply be "fostering" the baby. The mother would still have all rights over the baby: we would have to get her permission to travel with the baby, to have any medical treatment, etc. The best-case scenario by which we'd be given guardianship is maybe 6 months. Then we'd still have to wait for a court date before we'd go before a judge. Up until then, some government official could knock on the door and take the baby from us. And that's the scary part. What if we love this baby and live with this baby and believe he's going to be ours, and somebody takes him away?

If there appeared to be any remote guarantee that a judge would ultimately allow us to legally adopt the baby, I could more easily live with the fear that the baby would be taken away because the odds would still be in our favor.

The lawyer says we must not worry about this because it's in God's hands; if the baby is meant to be ours, he will be. I very much believe this, and if I were helping a friend through this, I'd say the exact same thing. The problem is that I'm very involved in this and very committed to this baby and I'm terrified of the hurt that, right now, is about 99% more likely than the happy ending I dream about. Are the high odds of hurt worth the 1% chance of a happy ending? I have to believe so. This opportunity fell from heaven into our laps; how can we not do everything possible to make it happen?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Susan,
It's Mae - Charlotte's friend. You and your family have been in my prayers! I have been reading your blog daily and I had to write to give you encouragement. God will answer your prayers. Please stay positive and think in your mind that this is all going to happen. This all happened out of the blue for a reason! I am a firm believer in what is meant to be will be...and this is meant to be. My heart and thoughts are with you! Don't give up. You want to be able to say I did everything I could regardless of the outcome. God is listening!
Keep praying...
Mae