NYR 3-14-11 - what got into Mac?

Mac came home from school "STARVING, MOM", ate his snack and then without nagging and pushing and prodding by me, did his homework. Not just the required Tuesday homework, but stuff that's not even due until Friday! Then when he finished, he didn't rush off to watch tv or play computer games. No, my boy decided to paint a little canvas that he wants to take to his art teacher on Monday. He said their school snack was brownies so maybe that give him a little pep in his step?

For a happy child who did his assignments sans battle, I am truly thankful (and praying that that continues all week).

As an aside, I've just finished reading the controversial "The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother". Maybe you know this book? Amy Chua, a Yale law professor of Chinese descent who's married to a very American Jewish guy, wrote about parenting her two girls using the strictest Chinese parenting model. She's caught all sorts of grief from people who have criticized her for being too strict, unyielding, etc. I'm not giving anything away by telling you that her younger daughter was the straw that broke the Chinese parenting camel's back so she's now assumed a slightly more "western" style of parenting.

Anyway, the book has given me lots of food for thought. I used to think I was kind of tough, but I'm a joke compared to Chua. Mac's not practicing his violin for 6 hours a day and we certainly don't haul that puppy away on vacations so he can practice. Amy Chua's old model was that she was unequivocally in charge.

Today I read a quote by Tina Fey in InStyle Magazine. She said "Kids are definitely the boss of you. Anyone who will barge into the room while you are on the commode is the boss of you. And when you explain to them that you're on the commode and that they should leave but they don't? That's a high-level boss."

I'm pretty sure we run more of a Fey-esque household around here, but I'd really like to get more of my Tiger Mother groove on!

the gift of an ordinary day

I just saw this on a friend's Facebook page and it was exactly what I needed to hear. Get out your Kleenex. Time is fleeting.

a great parenting lecture

Last night I attended a lecture at Porter-Gaud that was co-sponsored by Pinewood. The lecture was titled "Raising Children in Challenging Times", and while I thought I might learn more if it were titled "Raising Challenging Children in Challenging (or not-so-challenging) Times, I went anyway and I am SOOOOO glad I did.

The lecture was presented by Robert Evans, Ph.D., of Wellesley, MA. This guy is so funny and smart and wise about parenting, and I want him to move in with us. He can bring his wife and kids and grandkids, too, but he needs to live with me.

Seriously.

I have been in a funk lately with regards to rearing my precious bundle of love, aka Mac, and really needed to hear what he said tonight. The pressure of single parenting is tough and my hat is off to anybody who does it for longer than this measly year term I'm currently serving. It is a thankless, exhausting job from which you emerge battle-weary and scarred after hearing your 7 year-old tell you that "it's always all about you, Mom". Your tongue has permanent teeth marks from where you've bitten it in order to not list all the ways that it's not all about me, Mac. And then I must contend with Mac's perception of his absent father who with each passing day of absence, apparently grows more powerful and important and funny and sportier and smarter than dear old Mom who's at home trying hard to keep those home fires burning.

But I digress.

Back to Dr. Evans.

Nothing he said is earth-shattering or groundbreaking, which is exactly what reassured me. I am doing at least some of this stuff right (or at least adequately) and it was just nice to hear confirmation that age-old, tried-and-true, consistent parenting works. I kept thinking there was a magic bullet out there that I was missing, but there's not.

But I'd still like him to move him with me so he can keep reminding me...